You fucking people… you had to paint the broadcast from top to bottom with your annoying Jay Leno promos. Fuck you. No, I mean it. FUCK YOU. I’m really sorry that an entire football game had to interrupt your Jay Leno infomercial. Perhaps you could air the game on another network somewhere, one that isn’t as cheaply run as your average fucking airline.
All goddamn night, I had to sit there and be bombarded with your fucking promos for a fucking show that no American under the age of 55 will ever deign to fucking watch. ZOMG! COMEDY AT 10PM?! UNHEARD OF! I’ve never watched comedy at that hour, ever! Unless I’m watching a movie that night. Or I’m watching South Park. Or I’ve recorded a comedy program that airs at another hour and decided to watch it at 10PM. Just to be a REBEL.
I’ve never done that, NBC. I’ve never known what it is like to laugh at that hour. I am not sure I’m biologically equipped to handle it. I’m so used to setting that hour aside to watch doctors fuck each other and then perform open-heart surgery at that hour. That hour is not meant for laughter. It is a dark, intense 60 minutes of each day. All I want to do at that hour is brood, and look over corpses for forensic traces of the Miniature Killer’s calling card. Comedy? At 10PM? I DON’T KNOW IF I’M PREPARED FOR THE REVOLUTION.
” This morning I woke up to an email from Drew Magary telling me to fuck off for tweeting something about Mad Men before he’d had a chance to watch it. Thnakfully for me and the rest of the world, he’s now channeling his anger at NBC.