February 2009
January 2009
“I don’t want to belong to any club that would have someone like me as a...”
– Groucho Marx
NY Post gossip fossil Cindy Adams on Sarah Palin:... →
Great moments in Tumblr history
One of these days, hundreds of years into the future, some Internet archaeologist will be combing through the archives of Tumblr, David Karp’s long deceased Web 2.0 meme/queef generating machine, and he’ll stumble upon the hiccup in time that was January 27th, 2009. He’ll then pen a chapter in what will at time be the 8367th book written about the decline of America and Western...
There is indeed a new sheriff in town
Just as I finally blew a gasket over the Citi private jet thing, our magic negro Muslim terrorist President, Barack Allah Obama, turned towards Mecca and recited a prayer or dispatched Rahm Emanuel to put someone’s ballsack in a rusty vice and poof, the whole thing just went away.
I don’t know about you, but that feels very deeply satisfying to me.
Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" profiles New... →
“You will recall that Bill Kristol was the droolingest of the drooling dorks who...”
– Sara K. Smith is not a fan of Bill Kristol or Sarah Palin.
“So, the New York Times. The Times is a junk-rated company with an op-ed page...”
– Wonkette’s Jim Newell
“What does the contemporary self want? The camera has created a culture of...”
– William Deresiewicz
(via)
Dear Natasha,
Sometimes, when it’s Monday and I get bored, I make dreams come true, just for the fuck of it.
Apples and bananas,
Cajun Boy
“To be worth a shit in the world, you’ve got to blaze your own trail....”
– John Milius
After reviewing all the posts that had accumulated...
1. Despite overwhelming popular opinion trending otherwise, Brian Van firmly believes that he isn’t crazy, just misunderstood.
2. Jakob Lodwick went to a party and took his shirt off. This only serves to affirm my long-held belief that one should never attend any party where there’s a possibility that Nick McGlynn will be there with his camera.
3. Girls like to fuck too.
Thanks a...
Last Night in Brooklyn by InnerPartySystem
The Cadbury Eyebrows →
Rush Limbaugh to Sean Hannity on why he doesn't... →
Pardon my lack of maturity...
But this act of utter idiocy is one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed firsthand.
Derek Dye, the "Abstinence Clown," is not some... →
“I have a tattoo on the side of my penis that says stove top,” Morgan tells me...”
– Tracy Morgan (Maxim via Daily Intel) (via conorgriff)
“I’ve lived here for a long time and I’ve never seen so many African-Americans...”
– Chris Matthews. (via noraleah)
Trying so hard to avoid hyperbolic talk her, but Matthews has truly lost his fucking mind today. I can’t wait to see the inevitable sound bite video compilation someone does on his act today.
Just in case you were wondering what Rush Limbaugh...
Just tuned into his show out of curiousity… here are the main points.
1) Obama gave a shitty speech.
2) The markets are tanking today because they fear Obama.
3) The Democratic Party is hopelessly consumed with the silly Civil Rights era of the 1960s.
So there you have it!
Hillary Clinton Seen Mouthing Along To... →
caro:
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
I...
Regarding the "at least he kept us safe" President
I feel compelled to expound a bit on Peter Feld’s hilariously spot-on metaphorical skewering of the “at least he kept us safe” spin popular amongst defenders of the Bush Presidency that he posted on Sunday, because there’s just something so fundamentally flawed with this argument, and I’m endlessly baffled that a) they have the audacity to even make it in the first...
“That’s precisely what’s so extraordinary about you: you enjoy giving pleasure....”
– from Platform - Michel Houellebecq (via shorterexcerpts & herheadhurts)
Dear Tumblrs,
Hey, have you seen the cool new Tumblr feature called “Tumblr Crush?” It’s really cool and it shows you which Tumblrs you’ve “reblogged” or “liked” most often and even puts a gay little heart next to the avatar of the top person in that list. Hey, you know what you should do? You should take a screen shot of this cool new feature and post it to your...
Will America's post-"Miracle on the Hudson"... →
Um, can David Karp or someone else....
Please explain to me why the fuck Tumblr thinks I’d have any interest whatsoever in following FuckYeahRyanGosling!? (Cue the inevitable smartass “because you’re totally gay for Ryan Gosling” comment from Rod Townsend now.)
“I don’t think there is any important writer who is completely sane. If he...”
– Garson Kanin
Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose
For those of you hopelessly lost adrift in a sea of painfully medicore scripted network television shows, cough cough Gossip Girl cough, Season 3 of Friday Night Lights premieres on NBC tonight.
Now excuse me while I run out for some Budweiser (notice the lack of ambiguity in my beer selection there) for my own little viewing party. And just in case you were wondering, no, Spencer Morgan...
NBC 4 update
The local NBC affiliate is reporting that all passengers and crew got off the plane safely.
“Like The World is Flat, a book borne of Friedman’s stirring experience of seeing...”
– Matt Taibbi, destroying Thomas Friedman yet again (via hellofriend)
“Algiers Point has always been somewhat isolated: it’s perched on the west...”
– Excerpted from A.C. Thompson’s sobering piece, “Katrina’s Hidden Race War,” in The Nation.
“People who hang around celluloid usually are.”
– Charles Bukowski
Charles Barkley Finally Gets That Blow Job →
(via hellofriend)
“Get your heavy metals tested. Please, I beg you guys…It’s much bigger than me,...”
– Mercury-poisoning victim/spokesman Jeremy Piven on on GMA this morning, selflessly trying to save the public from the same actor-paralyzing indignities he suffered because of a debilitating sashimi addiction.
[via Defamer & marklisanti)
Houma man booked with cruelty for leaving... →
mandalay:
This is where cajunboy is from. I’m just saying. Don’t trust him with your infant. Or even an extra beer, for that matter. WHO KNOWS WHAT TRAUMA HE’LL INFLICT ON IT.
Actually Mandalay, I’m from a “suburb” of Houma. A much less fancier place in fact. We go “to town,” ie Houma, to shop at the WalMart.
Oh, and one last thing
Gossip Girl is a breathtakingly shitty television show. It’s The Young and the Restless for teenage girls and Internet people. So if you watch it, don’t you dare ever slam housewives in Tennessee who spend their days obsessing over which ex-stripper is sleeping with Jack Abbott and Victor Newman and Brad Carlton. And don’t you dare ask me how I know about ex-strippers sleeping...
“As the attention-obsessed would-be-media-mogul surely intended, today’s...”
– -Ryan Tate
Reading the aforementioned Observer article made me consider taking my “blog scene” seclusionary efforts to drastic levels, like joining the Peace Corps or moving to a cabin in rural Maine or some shit, just another step in my on-going quest to become the JD Salinger of the...